A Case Against General Hospital’s Dante Falconeri’s Claim That He’s TOTALLY FINE With Nathan and Lulu. Sure, Jan. Sure.

DANTE FALCONERI IS FINE AND OTHER THINGS PORT CHARLES WOULD LIKE US TO BELIEVE

TL;DR: Dante Falconeri would like everyone on General Hospital to know that he is completely fine with Lulu Spencer dating Nathan West, that he has absolutely no unresolved feelings about any of it, and that the dog bite was entirely unrelated. We are not buying a single word of this and we have receipts.

Let Us Start With the Dog

Dante Falconeri got bitten by Sonny’s dog this week. Not because the dog is vicious. Not because Dante did anything wrong. Because he was so deep inside his own head processing the news that Lulu Spencer is dating Nathan West that he was not paying attention when Fizz got into it with another dog on the street. The dog bite is a metaphor. The dog bite is Port Charles physically trying to knock some sense into this man. The dog bite is the universe’s editorial comment on Dante Falconeri’s emotional state and we are choosing to listen.

He then ended up as a patient of Elizabeth Baldwin, who is one of the most emotionally perceptive nurses in Port Charles, which means he was absolutely going to have to talk about his feelings whether he wanted to or not. And he did. He told Liz he felt blindsided. He told her he was sad, angry, jealous. He told her he was worried he had missed his last chance with Lulu. And then, having said all of that out loud to another human being, he looked Liz in the eye and said he was going to leave the past in the past.

Sure, Dante. Sure.

Do you think Dante Falconeri still has feelings for Lulu Spencer? We want your hottest takes at amber@soapoperamagazine.com and we just might publish them!

The Evidence, Presented Without Comment

Let us review the facts of the matter as they currently stand on General Hospital.

Fact one: Lulu told Dante months ago that she still loved him. He was grieving Sam at the time and could not hear it. He has heard it since. He has not forgotten it.

Fact two: When Cody Bell asked Dante for relationship advice this week, Dante spent the entire conversation accidentally talking about himself. He told Cody about the communication issues that destroyed his marriage. He told Cody that if you both hold back, you miss your shot at happiness. He said all of this with the absolute straight face of a man who does not realize he is giving himself a pep talk.

Fact three: Dante told Liz he was not going to get in the way of Lulu’s happiness. This is the kind of thing a man says when he is actively choosing to be noble instead of honest. Port Charles has a long and storied history of noble men making terrible decisions for good reasons and Dante Falconeri is currently standing in that tradition with both feet.

Fact four: Nathan West is going to warn Dante about something on Friday. We do not know what it is. We know it involves Lulu. We know Dante is going to have to stand there and receive that information and pretend he is fine. The man has not been fine since the dog.

What Dante Actually Said vs. What Dante Actually Meant

Dante said: “I’m going to leave the past in the past.” Dante meant: I am going to walk out of this hospital room and think about this for the next seventy-two hours minimum.

Dante said: “I’m not going to get in the way of Lulu’s happiness.” Dante meant: I have decided to be the bigger person and I want full credit for this decision.

Dante said to Cody: “If you both hold back, you’ll miss your shot at happiness.” Dante meant: Someone please apply this directly to my situation.

Dante said: “I’m fine.” The dog: No he is not.

The Uncomfortable Question Nobody Is Asking

Here is the thing about Dante and Lulu that General Hospital is very carefully not saying out loud: Lulu Spencer told this man she loved him. He was not ready. Now he is ready and she has moved on. That is not a storyline that resolves itself quietly. That is a storyline that has been building since the moment Maxie Jones walked back through the door and upended everyone’s carefully constructed new normal.

Nathan is a good man. Lulu deserves happiness. And Dante Falconeri is standing on the other side of town getting bitten by dogs and giving Cody Bell the most accidentally self-aware relationship advice in Port Charles history.

Something is going to give. The only question is when.

Is Dante Falconeri the last person in Port Charles to realize he is not over Lulu Spencer? And does he even deserve a second chance at this point? Sound off below because we have a feeling this comment section is about to be a lot!

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