General Hospital Fans VOTE: Should Nina Reeves, Drew Cain or the Police Dept. Be Fired? Who Needs A CAREER CHANGE in Port Charles?

THESE PORT CHARLES PROFESSIONALS ARE DISASTERS—LET’S FIND THEM NEW CAREERS!

TL;DR: Port Charles is full of people who are absolutely TERRIBLE at their jobs. From incompetent cops to doctors who can’t keep secrets to lawyers who keep losing their licenses, General Hospital characters desperately need career changes. Vote for who’s the worst at their job and tell us what they should do instead!

The Port Charles Career Crisis Is REAL

Let’s be honest—Port Charles might be the most professionally incompetent town in America. These people have degrees, licenses, and important positions, but they’re absolute DISASTERS at actually doing their jobs. Whether it’s cops who can’t solve crimes, doctors who violate HIPAA daily, or business executives who spend more time scheming than working, the professional standards in this town are in the TOILET.

So we’re putting it to a vote: Which General Hospital character is the WORST at their job? And more importantly, what career should they pursue instead? Because clearly their current positions aren’t working out for anyone.

Who do YOU think is the worst at their job in Port Charles? Email [email protected] with your votes and alternative career suggestions!

The PCPD: Port Charles’ Most Incompetent Police Department

Let’s start with the most obvious disaster—the entire Port Charles Police Department. These cops couldn’t solve a crime if the perpetrator confessed directly to their faces. Actually, wait—that HAS happened, and they still messed it up. The PCPD has a conviction rate that would make any real police department shut down in shame.

Dante Falconeri is supposed to be one of the “good” cops, but he’s constantly torn between his job and his mob boss father. Commissioner Jordan Ashford presided over some of the most incompetent police work in television history. And don’t even get us started on the number of times criminals have just WALKED out of the PCPD holding cells because nobody bothered to lock the doors properly.

What should PCPD officers do instead? Literally ANYTHING else. Security guards at the mall would be more effective. Maybe they should all become life coaches since they’re so good at giving advice while completely failing at their actual jobs.

Nina Reeves At Crimson: The Editor Who Can’t Keep A Job

Nina Reeves has been fired from Crimson more times than most people change their sheets. She gets the job back, gets fired again, gets rehired, and the cycle continues infinitely. At this point, Crimson’s HR department must have a Nina-specific file that’s thicker than a phone book.

Nina’s problem isn’t that she’s bad at the creative side of magazine editing—it’s that she can’t stop SCHEMING long enough to actually do her job. She’s too busy lying about Willow’s mother, manipulating Sonny, plotting against Carly, and generally creating chaos to focus on, you know, putting out a magazine. How is Crimson even still in business? Print media is dying, and their editor-in-chief is more focused on revenge plots than fashion spreads.

What should Nina do instead? Professional schemer. Oh wait, that’s not a real job. Maybe wedding planner? She’s clearly good at ruining people’s special moments, so she might as well get paid for it.

Drew Cain: The Congressman Who Forgot He Has A Job

Drew Cain ran for Congress, WON, and then immediately seemed to forget that being a congressman involves actual legislative work. Instead of focusing on policy, constituent services, or literally anything related to governance, Drew has been busy having affairs, scheming with Michael, and getting involved in every single piece of Port Charles drama.

When was the last time Drew mentioned a bill he was working on? Or a committee meeting? Or literally ANY aspect of his congressional duties? The man represents thousands of constituents, but he spends all his time in Port Charles dealing with family drama and romantic entanglements. His district must be wondering if they even HAVE a representative.

What should Drew do instead? Professional home-wrecker? Oh wait, he’s already doing that. Maybe crisis counselor, since he’s always in the middle of everyone else’s problems anyway. Or he could just admit he wants to be a full-time Quartermaine schemer and give up the congressional pretense.

GH Spoilers: Every Doctor Who Can’t Keep A Secret

Port Charles doctors violate patient confidentiality SO often that HIPAA must have just given up on this town. Seriously, medical privacy laws don’t exist at General Hospital. Doctors discuss patient information in public hallways, tell family members things they shouldn’t know, and use medical records to gain leverage in personal disputes.

Britt Westbourne participated in illegal medical research. Elizabeth Webber has kept patient secrets when it benefited her and revealed them when it didn’t. Even the “good” doctors like Portia Robinson have moments where they share information they absolutely shouldn’t. At this point, patients should just assume that whatever they tell their doctor will be common knowledge by the end of each episode.

What should these doctors do instead? Literally any medical job that doesn’t involve patient confidentiality. Maybe they could all become medical researchers where the only secrets they’re keeping involve lab results, not people’s personal health information. Or veterinarians—at least animals can’t sue for HIPAA violations.

Alexis Davis: The Lawyer Who Keeps Getting Disbarred

Alexis Davis is arguably one of the smartest lawyers in Port Charles, which makes it even more frustrating that she keeps LOSING her law license. She’s been disbarred more times than some lawyers have taken cases. At this point, the New York State Bar Association probably has a recurring calendar reminder to check on Alexis and see what ethical violation she’s committed this quarter.

The problem is that Alexis can’t separate her personal life from her professional responsibilities. She commits perjury, covers for family members, makes deals with criminals, and generally does everything a lawyer should NOT do. Then she acts shocked when there are consequences. Girl, this is a pattern. Maybe it’s time to acknowledge that being a lawyer isn’t working out.

What should Alexis do instead? Legal consultant or paralegal—jobs where she can use her knowledge without having the ethical responsibilities of an actual attorney. Or she could write legal thrillers since she’s lived through enough courtroom drama to fill several books.

QUIZ TIME: Who’s The WORST At Their Job In Port Charles?

Now it’s YOUR turn to vote! Who do you think is the most incompetent professional in Port Charles, and what career should they pursue instead?

CAST YOUR VOTE:

A) The Entire PCPD

• Current Job: Law enforcement
• Why They’re Terrible: Can’t solve crimes even when criminals confess directly to them, let people escape from holding cells, constantly compromised by mob connections
• Suggested Career Change: Mall security guards, life coaches, literally anything less important than actual police work

B) Nina Reeves At Crimson

• Current Job: Magazine editor-in-chief
• Why She’s Terrible: Gets fired constantly, spends more time scheming than editing, can’t separate personal vendettas from professional responsibilities
• Suggested Career Change: Professional gossip columnist, wedding planner (she’s great at ruining special moments), social media influencer

C) Drew Cain As Congressman

• Current Job: U.S. Representative
• Why He’s Terrible: Never mentions legislation, more interested in Port Charles drama and affairs than constituent services, forgot he represents thousands of people
• Suggested Career Change: Crisis counselor, full-time Quartermaine schemer, professional home-wrecker

D) GH Doctors Who Violate HIPAA

• Current Job: Medical doctors
• Why They’re Terrible: Discuss patient information in public hallways, share confidential medical records for personal gain, treat patient privacy as a suggestion rather than a law
• Suggested Career Change: Medical researchers, veterinarians, medical writers, any job without patient confidentiality requirements

E) Alexis Davis As Lawyer

• Current Job: Attorney at law
• Why She’s Terrible: Gets disbarred repeatedly, commits perjury for family, makes deals with criminals, can’t separate personal life from professional ethics
• Suggested Career Change: Legal consultant, paralegal, true crime author, podcast host about legal disasters

VOTE BELOW! Tell us who you think is the WORST at their job in Port Charles and what career they should pursue instead! Drop your votes and alternative career suggestions in the comments!

WATCH THIS: Is it time for Carly to close this door?