Thanks, I HATE IT! Amber Sinclair’s Weekly Soap Review: July 13-17: The Fakest Wife on TV, the Sloppiest Villain Soaps, and the Heartbreak Nobody Saw Coming

AMBER SINCLAIR WATCHED DAYTIME AND DEMANDS ANSWERS

TL;DR: Hayley Lawson turned a hospital scare into a one-woman show, EJ DiMera lost his job, his hospital, and his dignity in the same week on Days of Our Lives, Daphne Rose got hit with news that shattered a dream on The Bold and the Beautiful, and Carly Spencer picked the wrong week to go scorched-earth on Beyond the Gates, General Hospital, and Young and the Restless. Amber Sinclair watched all of it so you did not have to. You are welcome.

The Audacity Award: Hayley Lawson

Save your hearts, because Hayley Lawson spent the week auditioning for an award she will never win: Most Convincing Wife. Monday she played devoted spouse hard enough that even Naomi Hamilton Hawthorne called the bluff on sight. By Wednesday she was toasting her own husband’s potential decline at Uptown before pivoting, mid-sip, to marching into Bill Hamilton‘s hospital room insisting they’d get him healthy again.

Amber Sinclair watched it happen in real time and still cannot decide which performance deserved the standing ovation. Then Friday arrived, and Hayley squared off with Leslie Thomas, warning her rival that she “gives as good as I get,” all while Bill nearly locked lips with his ex-wife Dani Dupree one room over.

Hayley takes the trophy, a complimentary spa day, and a restraining order from her own stepdaughters.

Have a daytime double standard that made you gasp out loud? Send your best “the AUDACITY” nominations to amber@soapoperamagazine.com and we might feature them!

Okay But WHY Though: EJ DiMera’s Island Exile Plan

EJ DiMera spent the entire week ordering a private island prepped for Kristen DiMera‘s permanent exile, threatening a merciless and quick reckoning, and generally acting like the smartest man in Salem. By Friday he tried to fire Sarah in front of a packed reception area, only to get informed in the same breath that the hospital buyout was complete and he had 90 days to vacate.

Then, for an encore, Holly’s own brother found pills planted in her bag minutes after EJ spent the whole episode convincing everyone he believed her innocence. The recap said it best: “Thanks, EJ.”

A man planning exile for someone else should maybe check his own lease first.

Snooze Button: Kyle Abbott vs. Victor Newman

For five straight days, Kyle Abbott vowed vengeance against Victor Newman with absolutely no plan beyond vowing vengeance. He needled Victor about Nikki, got threatened with removal from the ranch, and closed the week visiting Patty in jail demanding “ammo,” still without an actual strategy in hand.

Meanwhile Victor spent five days repeating some version of “come hell or high water” to anyone within earshot. Two men, one grudge, zero forward motion.

Young and the Restless, we know a rivalry needs a next move eventually. Any day now.

The Ick Factor: Joy Wesley’s Bathtime Seduction

Joy Wesley needed help “loosening her collar” while Alex Kiriakis gave Kelsey a bath, apparently mid-seduction, in what the recap itself flagged as the weirdest attempt of the year.

A neck brace is not lingerie, and a baby’s bathtime is not a mood-lighting opportunity. Amber Sinclair needs to lie down after this one.

Days of Our Lives, please let this woman recover before her next move.

The Dragging: Carly Spencer

Here is the unpopular truth Port Charles refuses to say out loud: Carly Spencer was dead wrong this week. Britt Westbourne came home from an ordeal that included fake illness, kidnapping accusations, and genuine danger, only to find her room re-rented and every belonging gone, no warning, no conversation.

Carly told her to “start taking responsibility,” which is rich coming from a woman who changed locks on someone who had not been given the chance to explain herself. Britt calling her a “spiteful bitch” was not an overreaction. It was accurate reporting.

Amber Sinclair is officially Team Britt this week, and General Hospital owes her an apology, not a lecture.

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: Daphne Rose

Daphne Rose spent the week learning she has premature ovarian insufficiency, a diagnosis that took her and Carter Walton‘s dream of a family and shattered it in real time. The writing on this one landed with real weight, sobbing in each other’s arms, no easy fix offered.

Then, in the very same arc, Forrester got its jewelry line back after losing it for three days. A wedding ring can be recovered. A fertility diagnosis cannot.

Bold and the Beautiful, we felt every second of this one, and we are still not over it.

Worst Dressed: Steffy Forrester

Steffy Forrester stepped out in Zara’s ZW Collection Lace Slip Dress, and the soap world has not stopped talking about it since, and not in a good way. The backlash apparently reached Zara too, because the dress is now marked down 70%, from $79.90 to $23.97.

Grab it while it’s cheap, Steffy already took the fashion hit for you.

We Are Obsessed: Elizabeth Baldwin

Elizabeth Baldwin walked into a boardroom and fought for Sonny Corinthos‘s hospital seat with receipts nobody saw coming: the wings he quietly funded, the anonymous Saturday night sandwiches everyone somehow already knew were his. It was specific, it was earned, and it worked.

Amber Sinclair stood up and applauded. General Hospital gave us a character who fights with facts instead of theatrics, and it landed harder for it.

Got a theory or a hot take on this week’s mess? Drop it in the comments below, we want to hear it!

Whose Crime Was the Loudest: Hayley’s Performance or EJ’s Downfall?

Daytime handed us zero shame this week and somebody has to answer for it. Was it Hayley Lawson’s award-worthy fake-wife act, or EJ DiMera losing his job, his hospital, and his leverage in one single week? Bring your verdict to our Facebook page and tell us which storyline owes us the bigger apology.

WATCH THE WEEK’S BIGGEST OFFENDER (SPOILER ALERT: IT’S ABOUT THE DRESS)

@soapoperamag 👗 Fans Are NOT Here For #SteffyForrester's Office Look 👗 🎬 PRESS PLAY FOR OUR HONEST TAKE 🎬 She wore this Zara slip dress at home with Finn and it was gorgeous 😍 Add a trench coat and the Forrester office, and suddenly it's a whole different story. Fans are dragging this look and we cannot look away. Loved it or hated it? 👀 #BB #BoldandtheBeautiful #BBSpoilers #BoldandtheBeautifulSpoilers ♬ original sound – Soap Opera Magazine