We’re Team Cesar Faison on General Hospital and We Have No Regrets (Okay Maybe Some Regrets)

YES WE’RE TEAM CESAR FAISON AND YES WE KNOW WE NEED THERAPY

TL;DR: Yes, Cesar Faison is a deranged stalker who wore another man’s face to seduce his obsession. But have you SEEN Anna’s other options? In this chaotic General Hospital commentary, we make the case for the villain. Grab your pitchforks, besties.

Before You Come for Us, Just Hear Us Out

Listen. We know what you’re thinking. “Did they really just say they’re Team Faison? The kidnapper? The stalker? The man who wore Duke Lavery’s literal face like a Halloween costume for MONTHS?” And to that we say: yes. Yes we did. And we’re prepared to defend this position with our whole unhinged chest.

Now, before you start drafting your angry emails, let us be crystal clear: Cesar Faison is a terrible person. A villain. A menace to Port Charles society. His behavior is absolutely criminal and we do not condone stalking, kidnapping, or face-theft in real life. But this isn’t real life, honey. This is General Hospital, where the bar for romantic heroes is buried somewhere in the ninth circle of hell, and frankly? Cesar Faison keeps tripping over it on his way down.

So today, in the spirit of chaos and engagement bait, we present: The Case for Faison. May God and Finola Hughes forgive us.

Think we’ve lost our minds? You’re probably right. Write to the editor at [email protected] and tell us exactly how wrong we are!

His Commitment Is Honestly Unmatched

Say what you want about Cesar Faison, but this man understood the assignment when it came to dedication. He’s been obsessed with Anna Devane since his mother was her childhood nanny. HIS MOTHER. WAS HER NANNY. That means baby Cesar looked at little Anna and thought “yes, this is my forever person” and then committed to that bit for the next FIFTY YEARS.

Is that horrifying? Absolutely. Is it also kind of impressive in a “sir, please seek professional help” way? Also absolutely. Most men won’t even commit to dinner plans, and Faison committed to a woman across multiple decades, continents, and at least two boat explosions. He’s been presumed dead twice and STILL came back for her. That’s not giving up. That’s tenacity. Deranged, unacceptable tenacity, but tenacity nonetheless.

The Man Wrote Her NOVELS

In an era where men think “u up?” is romance, Faison sat down and wrote entire adventure novels featuring a thinly-veiled version of Anna as the love interest. Under a pen name. With actual plots. The character’s name was “Davnee” which is an anagram for “Devane” because he wanted her to KNOW it was about her while maintaining plausible deniability.

Is that creepy? Oh, deeply. But is it also more effort than ninety percent of the situationships happening in Port Charles right now? Unfortunately, yes. Faison is a published author! Multiple books! He put his obsession into his ART. We’re not saying that’s healthy — it’s absolutely not — but we ARE saying that if some of Anna’s other love interests had even a fraction of that creative energy, maybe she wouldn’t keep ending up in these situations.

At Least You Know Where You Stand With Him

Here’s the thing about Faison on General Hospital: he’s upfront. There are no mixed signals. No “I need space.” No “it’s complicated.” Just pure, unfiltered, completely transparent obsession. When Faison tells you he’s going to kidnap you and force you to marry him, you can BELIEVE that man is going to kidnap you and force you to marry him. He follows through! He’s consistent! In this economy of wishy-washy romantic interests who can’t decide between two women for seventeen years, there’s something almost refreshing about a man who knows exactly what he wants.

What he wants is insane and illegal, obviously. But he KNOWS it.

Have You SEEN Anna’s Other Options?

Let’s be real for a second: Anna Devane’s romantic history is a graveyard of red flags and questionable choices. Duke got murdered. Twice. Robert keeps disappearing for years at a time. And don’t even get us started on the various spies, criminals, and morally ambiguous men who’ve wandered through her life.

At least with Faison, Anna knows he’s the villain. There’s no shocking betrayal three seasons later when it turns out he was secretly evil the whole time. He was openly evil from the jump! Transparent villainy! We stan a self-aware antagonist!

In conclusion: we are absolutely not serious, Faison is a monster, and Anna deserves so much better. But also? This was really fun to write and we regret nothing.

Do you think we’ve completely lost the plot, or are you secretly a little bit Team Faison too? Confess to the editor at [email protected]!

WATCH THIS: Who will save Anna from this mess?

@soapoperamag Are you in the US? Did GH get preempted for you today? We got you! Articles are already up and we Canadians are spilling EVERYTHING! We gotta say…we couldn't be more proud to start calling Willow General Hospital's newest and best supervillain! Go Willow! #GH ♬ original sound – Soap Opera Magazine