The Young and the Restless
Thanks, I HATE IT! Amber Sinclair’s Weekly Soap Review: March 16-20
Victor hired Patty as a seduction weapon. Cane screamed into the void. Amber Sinclair watched all five soaps this week so you did not have to.
AMBER SINCLAIR HAS WATCHED ALL FIVE SOAPS THIS WEEK AND SHE HAS THOUGHTS
TL;DR: Victor Newman hired Patty Williams as a seduction weapon, Stephanie Johnson called 911 while her kidnapper was standing right next to her, Deacon and Taylor said goodbye for the forty-seventh time, Ridge and Bill fought about pepper, and Cane Ashby screamed into the void in The Young and the Restless, The Bold and the Beautiful, General Hospital, Days of Our Lives, and Beyond the Gates this week. Amber Sinclair has watched all of it so you did not have to. You are welcome.
The Audacity Award: Victor Newman
Victor Newman kidnapped Jack Abbott, put him on a yacht, and arranged for Patty Williams to be his companion. Not a stranger. Not a professional. Patty Williams. The woman who once played sex games with Jack involving sharp objects. Victor surveyed all of human history and decided she was his best option.
It was working. Patty sucked on an ice cube. Jack removed his tie. Diane Jenkins walked in. Jack said “No.” Patty said “Oops.” Victor waved bye-bye to Nikki and left the room without a single regret.
The Mustache takes the trophy. He would like to thank himself.
Which Victor Newman plan deserves its own hall of fame? Send your rankings to [email protected]and we just might publish them!
Okay, but WHY, though? Stephanie Johnson Calls 911
Stephanie Johnson pickpocketed Owen’s phone while kissing him, which is genuinely impressive. Less impressive was her decision to call 911 while Owen was standing right there. Not in another room. Not down the hall. Right there.
Owen heard the operator. Owen took the phone. Stephanie claimed she panicked. Owen was not convinced and honestly neither are we. Girl. GIRL. What was the plan?
Snooze Button: The Pepper Fight and the Goodbye Tour
Deacon Sharpe and Taylor Hayes said goodbye again this week. It was agonized. It was tearful. It was the forty-seventh goodbye they have had since Steffy Forrester Finnegan started saying “this ends today” approximately four hundred years ago. We are still here. They are still here. Nothing has ended.
Meanwhile at Brooke’s dinner party, Ridge Forrester and Bill Spencer got into it over who uses more pepper. The Bold and the Beautiful, everybody.
The Ick Factor: Cane’s Primal Scream
Cane Ashby sat in Phyllis Summers‘ empty office, recorded a heartfelt video for Lily, watched it back, and then let out a primal scream before walking out. No one heard it. No one saw it. It was just a man alone in a stolen office screaming at the universe. We respect the commitment. We also need him to get it together.
Unexpectedly Obsessed: Mona Wilson
Mona Wilson walked into Orphie’s, found Randy Parker sucking Lynette Wise‘s fingers at the table, and slapped him in the head. She then informed him that this was not “a club where you eat sushi off a stripper” and said they needed Jesus before walking out. Nobody asked for Mona Wilson this week. We needed her desperately. More of this, please.
The Dragging: Dante Falconeri
Dante Falconeri got bitten by a dog because he was too distracted thinking about Lulu Spencer to pay attention on a walk. He then sat down with Cody Bell and gave him relationship advice. Dante. Who just got bitten by a dog over his own feelings? Giving relationship advice. Port Charles deserves better, and so does Fizz. And so do we.
Which soap gave you the most this week and which one do you want to throw your remote at? Sound off below because we need to know we are not alone in this!
WATCH THIS: Are you Team Victor or Team Jack?
@soapoperamag At this point, I'm slowly losing faith in my die hard Team Newman stance… I need to know where everyone else stands. Are you Team Victor or Team Jack? Are you a Newman lover or an Abbott stan? #YoungandtheRestless ♬ original sound – Soap Opera Magazine
