Thanks, I HATE IT! Amber Sinclair’s Weekly Soap Review: June 15-19: A Blackmail Bride, a Chess Game That Never Starts, and the Bathrobe Ambush of the Year

AMBER SINCLAIR WATCHED ALL FIVE SOAPS AND DAYTIME OWES HER AN APOLOGY

TL;DR: Patty Williams blackmailed her way into Jack Abbott’s house and evicted his whole family, Chad DiMera kept promising to play a chess game he never started, Hope Logan spent five days hyperventilating about where to work, Ezra Boyle put on a robe for the wrong guest, Taylor Hayes treated zero patients, and Lexie Carver came back from the dead to be a science experiment across The Young and the Restless, The Bold and the Beautiful, General Hospital, Days of Our Lives, and Beyond the Gates this week. Amber Sinclair watched all of it so you did not have to. You are welcome.

The Audacity Award: Patty Williams

Patty Williams looked at a man who has survived being shot by her twice, decided he was the love of her life, and blackmailed her way into his living room. With Diane Jenkins tucked away in an upstate “wellness” cottage, she strolled into Jack Abbott‘s home in Genoa City, demanded his mind, soul, and heart, and somehow got a yes. Then she had him evict his own son, sister, and grandson so she could have the run of the place. Amber Sinclair reviewed the evidence and the only possible ruling is that this was, against all odds, the winning play. The Mustache may have built her, but Patty took the wheel and the deed.

Who handed you the biggest AUDACITY gasp this week? Send your most unhinged daytime double standards and villain power moves to amber@soapoperamagazine.com, and the wildest picks may headline next week’s review.

Okay But WHY Though: Chad’s Chess Game

Chad DiMera inherited a mysterious chess set from Stefano and spent the entire week in Salem insisting the way to crack its secret is to sit down and play a game on it. He said it every single episode. He did not move one pawn. Theo Carver eventually found the hidden compartment and a key while Chad was presumably still arranging his bishops. WHY is a man this obsessed with playing chess physically incapable of playing chess?

Snooze Button: Hope’s Hand-Wringing

Hope Logan spent five full episodes in L.A. hyperventilating about which building she is going to work in. That is the plot. Will she design for Brooke Logan at Forrester or stay loyal to the family at Logan, and can her conscience survive a commute decision? She paced, she agonized, she stared meaningfully at a framed photo, and by Friday she had chosen exactly nothing. Amber Sinclair has sat through tornado evacuations with more momentum than this woman picking an office.

The Ick Factor: Ezra’s Robe

Ezra Boyle ran a shower, slipped into a robe, chilled the champagne, and waited for Jacinda Bracken to sweep through the door of his Port Charles hotel room. The door opened. In walked Jenz Sidwell, a wanted man, ready to blackmail him into a revenge plot. Nothing cools a candlelit fantasy faster than a fugitive on the threshold and a bathrobe you now have to keep wearing through the threats.

The Dragging: Taylor Hayes

Taylor Hayes is a practicing psychiatrist, allegedly. This week she spent her office hours wrapped around Deacon Sharpe to a Kenny G soundtrack, pausing only to tease that she might have to cancel her schedule. What schedule, Taylor? The recaps could not locate a single patient on her books. The practice is a love seat, and the only session being held all week was with Deacon.

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: Lexie Carver

Salem brought Lexie Carver back from the dead and fans wept with joy. Then the show handed that miracle straight to a mad scientist. This week Lexie nearly collapsed in the DiMera tunnels, begged Dr. Rolf for answers, and got “we’re going to top you off with a little more juice” as her entire treatment plan, then lied to Abe Carver‘s face about all of it. We did not get a beloved character back. We got a science experiment wearing her name.

We Are Obsessed: Darlene Hawthorne

Here is the one moment we refuse to touch. In Fairmont Crest, Darlene Hawthorne has every reason to keep her distance from Eva Thomas, and she walked into that hospital room anyway, sat down beside a terrified Leslie Thomas, and offered comfort one mother to another. Even Leslie, who has been at war with the entire town all week, was moved. In a week stuffed with organ-donation chaos and bathrobe ambushes, this quiet grace note is the rare thing daytime got completely right, and Amber Sinclair is unironically obsessed.

Tell us down in the comments which show tested your patience the hardest this week, and which single moment had you talking back to your television. We need to know we are not yelling at the screen alone.

Whose Nerve Was Loudest, Patty Williams or a Chess Set That Never Got Played?

Daytime committed a full slate of nonsense this week and Amber Sinclair cannot pass sentence alone. Was it Patty Williams moving into a house she blackmailed her way into, a chess obsessive who refuses to play chess, or a beloved doctor brought back from the dead only to be drained for parts? Bring your ruling to our Facebook page and tell us which show owes you the biggest apology.

WATCH THE WEEK’S BIGGEST OFFENDER!

@soapoperamag 😈 Patty Williams Finally Got Everything She Ever Wanted and It Is About to Blow Up in Her Face 😈 👀 THE WHOLE DELICIOUS STORY IS AT THE LINK IN OUR BIO 👀 She took his home, his life, his whole world, and she is positively glowing about it. 🥂 #PattyWilliams thinks she has finally broken #JackAbbott down and made him hers. ✨ Bless her unhinged little heart, because Jack is playing every single card she hands him. The con artist is the one being conned, and she has no clue. 🎭 #YR #YRSpoilers #YoungandtheRestless #YoungandtheRestlessSpoilers ♬ original sound – Soap Opera Magazine