Thanks, I HATE IT! Amber Sinclair’s Weekly Soap Review: May 25-29: A Fist for a Rescuer, a Sage Smudge, and One Very Tired Editor

DAYTIME ON TRIAL: JUDGE AMBER SINCLAIR PRESIDING AND THE DEFENDANTS HAVE NO REMORSE

TL;DR: Nick Newman got his life saved by the worst man in Genoa City and repaid him with a fist, Will Spencer smudged the bad vibes out of a beach house instead of romancing his girl, Curtis Ashford recited the same conspiracy theory for the ten thousandth time, EJ DiMera turned his resurrected sister into a science project, and Deanna started chatting with a dead man at the country club on The Young and the Restless, The Bold and the Beautiful, General Hospital, Days of Our Lives, and Beyond the Gates. Amber Sinclair watched all of it so you did not have to. You are welcome.

The Audacity Award: Nick Newman

Nick Newman overdosed on the floor of Phyllis’s office, and the only person in the room with the skill to save him was Matt Clark, the human cockroach his entire family has spent months trying to bury. Matt called for the mouth-to-mouth, did the chest compressions, and got the heart beating again. The paramedics confirmed it: that CPR is the only reason Nick has a pulse.

So naturally, by Friday, Nick walked into the gym where Matt was being held, demanded to know what he did, and then wound up to throw a punch at the man who restarted his heart. Matt did not even resist. He just stood there asking if one good deed cancels out a lifetime of bad ones.

Judge Amber Sinclair has reviewed the evidence, and Nick Newman, sweetie, gratitude was free this week and you still would not pay it.

Got a Genoa City villain you think deserves a medal AND a restraining order? Send your most unhinged daytime takes to [email protected] and we may just publish them!

Okay But WHY Though: EJ Turns Lexie Into a Lab Rat

EJ DiMera brought his sister back from the dead and then immediately treated her like a Stefano science fair entry. He visited Lexie Carver in her hospital bed, got weirdly delighted that resurrection made her meaner, and asked her for bloodwork for Dr. Rolf like it was a Tuesday errand.

She is your SISTER, EJ. She has been DEAD. And your takeaway is that the pettier, more DiMera version of her is a fun little upgrade? Counsel for the defense has nothing.

Snooze Button: Will Smudges the Sage Out of a Beach House

Will Spencer decided the way to celebrate reuniting with Electra Forrester was not, in fact, romance. It was a sage smudging ceremony to exorcise the bad vibes left behind by Luna, the Dylan drama, and every other plot that has wandered through that property. He waved the sage around with all the commitment of a distracted frat boy and called it a renewal.

Meanwhile RJ Forrester spent the entire week whining at Ridge Forrester until Daddy caved and agreed to fire Will over a girl. Two grown men, one necklace, zero plot. The jury was asleep before the smoke cleared.

The Ick Factor: Suzanne Walks In On Cody

Cody Bell and Molly Lansing-Davis tore each other’s clothes off on Alexis’s couch, because nothing says privacy like your mother’s living room. Then Suzanne strolled in, picked Molly’s smutty manuscript up off the floor, realized Cody was the inspiration for the book’s leading lover, and proceeded to look him up and down like a rotisserie chicken.

Molly had to physically push an enchanted Suzanne out the door. The ick was not the couch. The ick was the appraisal. Amber Sinclair will be requesting that exhibit be stricken from the record.

Unexpectedly Obsessed: Wyatt and Shauna’s Vegas Friendship

Nobody asked for Wyatt Spencer to come back and crown himself the hotter, funnier, more successful son of Bill Spencer. And absolutely nobody had Shauna Fulton being the one to drive him in because his car was in the shop. But here we are, completely obsessed.

Shauna strolled into Spencer, reminded Bill she used to run high-end boutiques, and pitched herself as Katie’s valuable new assistant before anyone could blink. Then she leaned in with “You still like money, don’t you, Dollar Bill?” More of these two immediately, please.

The Dragging: Curtis Ashford

Curtis Ashford has now recited his Isaiah-was-the-other-driver theory to Michael, to Jordan, to Trina, and to Portia, despite the only actual crime on record being the punch Curtis himself threw. Isaiah Gannon may never operate again, a sick kid named Derek may not get his surgery because of it, and Curtis’s response is to double down harder.

Portia Robinson flat-out told him she will testify to the truth in court. Curtis, my guy, when your pregnant wife volunteers to take the stand against you, that is the universe handing you an exit. Take it.

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: Deanna’s Grief Visions

Beyond the Gates gave us a genuinely gutting thread this week with Deanna McBride seeing visions of her dead father, Doug McBride, at the country club, only for him to vanish and leave her sliding down the wall in tears. Real, raw, devastating stuff.

And yet the show is dangling it as an is-Doug-actually-alive tease while Jacob privately replays Doug taking a bullet for him on a loop. Pick a lane, Fairmont Crest. Either let this woman grieve or bring the man back, but stop using a daughter’s breakdown as a maybe.

Which defendant do you want to drag into Amber Sinclair’s courtroom this week, and who actually deserves a pass? Sound off below because we genuinely cannot decide and we need backup!

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