General Hospital
Thanks, I HATE IT! Amber Sinclair’s Weekly Soap Review: March 23-27
A staircase spy, a butcher knife, a hooker at a fostering interview, and a DNR ripped in half. Amber Sinclair watched all five soaps this week.
AMBER SINCLAIR HAS WATCHED ALL FIVE SOAPS THIS WEEK AND NOBODY BEHAVED THEMSELVES
TL;DR: Someone spied on her own niece from a staircase on The Bold and the Beautiful. Someone’s body quit mid hookup on Days of Our Lives. Two men had the same argument for the sixth week running on The Young and the Restless. Someone listened to moaning from the kitchen for an uncomfortable amount of time on The Bold and the Beautiful. Someone ripped up a DNR and made everyone weep on Beyond the Gates. Someone said hooker during a fostering interview on General Hospital. And General Hospital killed off someone who deserved better so we added a seventh section. Amber Sinclair has watched all of it so you did not have to. You are welcome.
The Audacity Award: Ivy Forrester
Ivy Forrester crouched on the upstairs landing of the Forrester mansion and spied on Electra Forrester and RJ Forresterplaying Truth or Dare below her like a woman who learned the word “boundaries” in another language and chose not to translate it. She fondled a stolen letter while watching them from above. Then she waited for Electra to go change, grabbed her phone, and posted a selfie of Electra and RJ on social media without permission. She called it love. We are calling it surveillance with a gift basket.
Do you have a nomination for next week’s Audacity Award? Send your picks to [email protected]and we just might feature them!
Okay But WHY Though: Tate Black’s Bedroom Meltdown
Tate Black and Holly Jonas finally had the house to themselves on Days of Our Lives. Clothes came off. The moment was happening. And then Tate stopped everything and yelled “It’s not working for me!” while mid makeout with his shirt off. He connected it to the skin supplements almost immediately, which is fine, but the journey from romantic afternoon to performance crisis to medical deduction happened in about forty five seconds and we are still processing the tonal whiplash.
Snooze Button: Billy Abbott and Cane Ashby at Crimson Lights
Billy Abbott and Cane Ashby sat on the Crimson Lights patio on The Young and the Restless and had the exact same argument they have been having for weeks. Who is more delusional? Who ruined whose life? Whose fault is everything? Billy told Cane to go find another maze. Cane told Billy he will always shoot himself in the foot. We have heard this conversation so many times that we could perform it as a two person play from memory. Someone give these two a new scene or give us a nap.
The Ick Factor: Sheila Carter Listening From the Kitchen
Sheila Carter stood in Taylor Hayes‘ kitchen on The Bold and the Beautiful, heard moaning coming from the bedroom upstairs, and listened to it. For a while. The recap says “after listening to this for awhile, she decides something must be wrong.” She stood there absorbing the sounds of her husband and another woman and her brain filed it under “medical emergency.” Then she grabbed a butcher knife and announced “I’m coming, Taylor!” The commitment to misinterpretation is almost impressive. The extended listening period is the ick.
Unexpectedly Obsessed: Anita Dupree Ripping Up the DNR
Anita Dupree wanted to die on her own terms. She told Vernon she was done with chemo. She said her voice was gone and she was already gone and her family just did not know it yet. She demanded the DNR. And then Nicole Dupree Richardson and Dani Dupree and Vernon reminded her of Chelsea’s wedding, the cotillion, all the chapters left in the book of Dupree, and Anita ripped those papers in half while her family sobbed tears of joy. Tamara Tunie demolished every second of those scenes on Beyond the Gates and we are not remotely okay.
The Dragging: Olivia Quartermaine
Olivia Quartermaine called Jacinda a hooker in the kitchen of the Quartermaine mansion while a fostering interview was actively happening down the hall. Wiley Corinthos heard it. Wiley ran to Brook Lynn Quartermaine and asked what a hooker is in front of the social worker. Olivia owes Brook Lynn an apology, a gift basket, and possibly a brand new interview. Volume control, Olivia. There are children in the house. Read the room.
This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: Marco Rios
General Hospital killed Marco Rios this week. A queer Latino character who chose love over his father’s empire, who stole medication to save Britt’s life, who told Lucas Jones they were going to be happy together. He was stabbed by Ross Cullum, the man whose life Lucas had just saved in surgery one floor above. Adrian Anchondo gave nearly 80 episodes of heart and every single one showed. This is why we do not get attached. This is why we cannot have nice things. Marco Rios deserved better and we are not over it.
Which soap gave you the most this week? And which moment had you screaming at your screen? Sound off below because Amber Sinclair has opinions and she knows you do too!
WATCH THIS: ALEX, is that you?!
@soapoperamag What's REALLY going on with Anna Devane? Anna, is that REALLY you? Or, is it someone else who looks exactly like you and loves using her name? Wouldn't it be wild if she's actually Alex? #GeneralHospital ♬ original sound – Soap Opera Magazine
